I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
