I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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