this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
