Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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