So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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