just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
