sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
