I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
