Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
