Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
