There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
