I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
