We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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