Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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