i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize