I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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