you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
