I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
