obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize