so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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