i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
