well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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