Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
