Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
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