and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
