If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
