In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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