Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
