I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
