So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
