and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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