i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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