Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He better not be in your backpack
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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