Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
