Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize