So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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