He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
So many bounce houses so little time
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize