Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
