She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
A bitchslap is in order.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize