Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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