Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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