By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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