I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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