Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
