it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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