Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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