turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
