pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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