party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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