is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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