i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
