If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
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