you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
