i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
