p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
