im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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