3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
