It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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