It's like a parade of train wrecks.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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