I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
This is the high leading the old right now
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
